Problem

So the friend that I am beginning to like well yep I do... today we hung out with some friends went to the movies it was a good movie. But you know that weirdness that happens when you want to cuddle with someone but you don't know if they want to so you do little things to hint that you do. Hoping they'll pick up on it. Yes I was doing them and he didn't pick up at least I don't think he did... I leaned forward elbows on knees in defeat that it wasnt going happen and watched the movie. Then I feel a warm hand in my back then the hand starts to scratch my back stopping on occasion just leaving his hand there. Towards the end I'd the show I put my head in his shoulder he matched by placing his head in mine. I know I am SOOOOO over thinking this.... but anyways we were next headed to the temple while we said our goodbyes he pulled me in for a hug and opened the door for me and held my hand as I got in. Then we drove to the temple there were three of us, a friend that is proving to be a good one. Anywhos we walked in and got our clothes got dressed I told this friend about the movie and what happened with the guy. We went to do the work.  We sat on other sides of the room which is fine we were confirmed then headed to the font. the girls sat down when there was room he came sat next to us (me specifically) but us. I was engulfed in reading good old old testament.  But I know noticed his arm up around bench where is sitting I was yet again leading forward we shared a scripture each that we liked while reading. It was his turn to go in and do the baptizing he headed in and did another sister before it was my turn. I walk the stairs he held out his hand to help me in (which he always does just FYI) we got our bodies in the right position and he began the prayer during which his thumb rubbed my hand as unnoticeable as possible. The duration of the baptizing was done was normal. I thanked as I usually do and smiled he smiled back and thanked me.
Headed in and got showered and redressed. I brushed my hair and threw it up in a braid and headed out he was done as well but we still had to wait for our friend. I walked over to stand by him and he pulled me in for a hug and I laid my head in this chest but it was the side the braid was on. We sat like that for a minute then I needed a drink so went to get one he followed shortly after so while he was I went and sat down. And that was about it. He did carry my bag for me opened the doors brought me dinner and gave me a big hug when we got back to my house. I just don't know.....

Anyways a lot has happened since I started writing this post, and I don't know if changes anything to really talk about it. Maybe it will be for another day to caught you all up.

You'd think I'd learn and give up...

Well the title says most of it..... why can't I just get over it and move on. Or why can't he just figure out his life and what he wants! I am really this stupid to allow myself to be continually hurt by someone who either doesn't care or know that he hurting me like he is.
Life is crazy because while I am here so stressed about this stupid guy who can't make me happy or who is using me and playing me like an yo yo!!!  I have a few guys I am beginning to like or think is liking me. Guys who would probably would treat me a million times better then this guy who isn't even close to the cutest of any of the guys that are in the boat of guys coming in of late. Why I can't I just give these guys a change? Oh because I (maybe) am too fixed on Mr. Wrong to notice Mr. Right.
I want to tell the boy exactly wants on my mind, tell him that I will make it easy for you to make a decision I will make it for you I am done I don't want to try to again. Tell him I deserve a Guy who wants to be with me without hesitation without weighting the choices doesn't evaluate his standings with other girls do decide whether or not we date or hang out. Someone who replies to texts not just picks and chooses which he wants and doesn't enjoys seeing me every time he does. Who's not bipolar when I see him. I deserve to be treated just for what I am a daughter of Heavenly Father with amazing gifts and talents and abilities and I should never have to worry where I stand with him.

Why does a heart want what it can't have?

So, but of course life is about this silly boy who doesn't know what he wants and is hurting my head. I feel this next year is going to be just like year (relationship wise with this guy). I don't think he is going to make his mind up anytime soon and I don't want to sit around waiting for him. I want to know he wants to be with me I want to feel the chase from him I want him to want me.